I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
