PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
