After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
