If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
