I got chris browned last night
i jhust puked up my retainher.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
