just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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