I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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