Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
