Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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(716): View more from New York

he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates

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(712): View more from Iowa

I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed

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(770): View more from Georgia

Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?

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