To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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