found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
