He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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