Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
