Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
