Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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