I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
