I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
