I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
