We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
