she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
