bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
