The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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