Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
