If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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