Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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