dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
