He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
