i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
im six kinds of drunk right now
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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