Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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