I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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