She is in my trunk
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
