i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Barsexuality is the new black.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
