if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
