talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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