Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
