I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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