exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
