you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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