No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
