If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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