True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dick very happy bro
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
