Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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