just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
