Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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