"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
