so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
