i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
