Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
