New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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