Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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