Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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