did you get engaged???
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
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she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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