she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
