Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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