Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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