I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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