OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
