Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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