I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
